Our Commitment to LGBTQ Families on January 30th, 2017

Adoptions Together and its staff are committed to standing in solidarity with all our LGBTQ clients, family members and fellow Americans during these tumultuous and terrifying times.  Fears of an imminent Executive Order from the Trump Administration that is harmful to the basic rights of LGBTQ individuals have compelled us to voice our support for our friends and community, as well as our reassurance that we will continue to provide comprehensive adoption services to LGBTQ families now and in the future.  This is our duty as ethical adoption professionals, and compassionate human beings.

 

Adoptions Together was founded twenty-six years ago in response to a lack of secular adoption agencies focused on making adoption and related counseling available to all women and families of every race, ethnicity, faith, culture, and sexual orientation.  We remain fervently committed to that mission in 2017, and stand beside our clients both as members of the LGBTQ community ourselves, and as allies dedicated to preserving the highest quality adoption and family placement services to LGBTQ individuals and families regardless of threats or attempts to encroach upon their human rights.

 

Adoptions Together believes that every child has the right to a loving and stable family.  In more than two decades placing over 6,000 children with permanent families, we have advocated for same-sex parents through our work with the Human Rights Campaign’s All Children All Families National Advisory Council, which created the groundwork for evaluating and strengthening adoption agencies’ competency to serve LGBTQ families nationwide.  Working with the HRC has taught us that we must constantly work toward improving inclusivity for all people. 

 

We maintain a strong network of adoption and family lawyers in all regions of the country to whom we refer same-sex parents when they have questions about topics like second parent adoption, step-parent adoptions, surrogacy, and other family issues.   Our work for the LGBTQ community is made stronger by our deep commitment to working with the most qualified professionals in family law and public policy.  More than ever, we are strengthening and continuing to cultivate these relationships.

 

As 2017 unfolds, we remain dedicated to your families’ safety in all spaces.  We encourage members of all communities- LGBTQ, cisgender, faith-based, and otherwise- to reach out to your congress-people to express the concern we all share for the targeted discrimination that is currently taking place in our country.  Through unity and strength of shared support, we will protect those who need it most and overcome the barriers being erected before our neighbors, family and friends.  

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The Son with Two Moms: A Guest Post by Tony Hynes

This post was written by Tony Hynes, an author and adoptee.  His life story includes his birth mother’s mental illness, a tumultuous battle in the court system when his adoption was challenged by his birth family, and the unique perspective of being raised by two moms in a transracial household.  His book “The Son with Two Moms” is available on Amazon in print and electronic editions.  Check out Tony on Facebook.

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I’ve been asked about my family before. I understand why. People want to know about a family that isn’t like theirs (or is like theirs). They want to know what it’s like to grow up with two white moms. They want to know how I, a black man, see the world today after being raised by two white women. They want to know why I speak the way I do, why I am careful with my words, and why I decided to write a book. I never know exactly what to say, or exactly how to address every question they ask me. No answer seems full enough to address every point they raise. I try to search for the right balance. The answer has to be truthful, but educational, respectful, but confident.  It’s a line I straddle every time I tell my story and a line that many individuals from transracial families are familiar with.

I am college educated and am currently pursuing my PhD. I love to read. I love to play soccer and listen to music. I went camping almost every summer as a kid. I share much in common with some of the families who ask me questions about my upbringing. However, sometimes I sense they don’t feel the same connection. After a panel discussion a few months ago, for instance, a white father said to me “I have two adopted black sons. If they grow up to be like you that would be incredible.” Nothing about his statement was particularly alarming. However, the way in which he said it, with wonderment and an air of impossibility, was. It was as if he didn’t believe he could be a good enough parent to raise a black child as “healthy” as me. It was as if he thought I was an anomaly, a glitch in an otherwise flawed system that didn’t allow black boys to achieve greatness. One week later, a woman asked me if I had had any help writing “The Son With Two Moms.” When I replied that I did not her puzzled expression turned into a toothy grin. “Wooooow!” She said. “That’s so amazing.” I thanked her as she continued to glow. “So no one helped you write any part of it?” She said. “Nope.” I said. “Just me.” “Wow,” she said.

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