image c/o www.clairetimberlake.com
To follow up on our post about allowing yourself to heal, we wanted to re-post a comment that guest blogger Shana wrote back in 2008. At the time she wrote this comment, it had been nine years since she placed her son.
In reference to the difficult times … for a long time I pushed them away, refused to feel. I was so overwhelmed with guilt for all the things I had done wrong, and finally I allowed myself to really look at my son’s photo sent to me in an update. He was smiling so big and laughing and happy, and that minute gave me insight into what I had done right. I started to focus on the rightness of the whole thing. I stopped pushing away my feelings and embraced them instead. Now I’m not saying it is easy because it isn’t, but I know that I made the right decision, and I am proud of it. I know my son is happy and loved. Knowing this makes it easier to focus on the positive of it all. I just had to let go of all that negative focus. I think sometimes we get so used to feeling bad about our decision that we think it is normal. It doesn’t have to be that way. It is a huge burden for a child to carry, to be the cause of such pain and sadness in our lives. I don’t want my son to feel that way, I want him to know I’m proud of him and I’m proud of his parents, me included. I want him to know it hasn’t been always easy, but that it was worth it … for him!