How do you feel about open adoption?


Open adoption means birth parents have direct contact with their children and adoptive parents through letters, emails, photos, and/or visits.


Some birth parents prefer an open adoption. They feel it benefits both them and their child(ren) by permitting them to develop a continuing relationship. They like the reassurance it provides that children are loved and well cared for and they appreciate that it may help ease some feelings of pain, loss or grief.


And others don’t. For them, an open adoption forces them to confront their extremely raw feelings. For them, an open adoption simply serves as a constant reminder of possibly the most significant loss of their life. Letters, emails, pictures and visits can lead to intense feelings of sadness and depression.


What about you – what has your experience been like? Have your feelings about openness changed over time?

One Response to “Openness”

  1. Lakeisha

    Well, we (my child’s natural father and I) have a semi open adoption, where we get pictures, updates and such several times during the year, but no visits. After receiving the first set of pictures, we both had this feeling of detachment. Here we are, just a couple months removed and it was like looking at another person’s child. She actually resembled her adoptive parents! We couldn’t see ourselves in her, and that was scary.
    I guess time will tell, but openness makes it hard because once you feel at peace, you get those letters, emails, and such that send you spiraling back to a place where you steadily question the decision that was made.

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