In the past two days, I've had two uplifting visits with two different birth mothers. They both happened to be having their second visits with the children they placed. I remember both of their first visits with their children. Each one was full of raw pain and didn't know what to do to feel better. One mother was physically and emotionally showing symptoms of depression, and the other was angry at the world. There was a sense of hurt and chaos and confusion. I also heard deep regrets about the adoption.
Their visits this time around were so different – the pain is still with them every day, of course, but the emotional crisis has passed. There is something more peaceful about them, you can feel it just by being in the room with them. It reminded me that there are moments where we think we cannot stand the pain, and we think in those times that there is no hope for something better. But it happens. The worst of the storm breaks, and the sun peaks out from behind the clouds again….
And I realized that they have changed as people – there is something deeper to them now than I have ever known before. Maybe all the pain is working towards something.