This too shall pass

In the past two days, I've had two uplifting visits with two different birth mothers.  They both happened to be having their second visits with the children they placed.  I remember both of their first visits with their children.  Each one was full of raw pain and didn't know what to do to feel better.  One mother was physically and emotionally showing symptoms of depression, and the other was angry at the world.  There was a sense of hurt and chaos and confusion.  I also heard deep regrets about the adoption. 

Their visits this time around were so different – the pain is still with them every day, of course, but the emotional crisis has passed.  There is something more peaceful about them, you can feel it just by being in the room with them.  It reminded me that there are moments where we think we cannot stand the pain, and we think in those times that there is no hope for something better.  But it happens.  The worst of the storm breaks, and the sun peaks out from behind the clouds again….

And I realized that they have changed as people – there is something deeper to them now than I have ever known before.  Maybe all the pain is working towards something. 

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One Response to “This too shall pass”

  1. I have yet to see my child since the day Ms Goldwater came to take her to her parents in Sept of 1992. I have over all these years kept in contact with her parents through letters that I send to Adoptions Together. They have been so great to keep me in communication with the parents of my baby. One day her parents will tell her about me and they will show her all my letters. I wait in eager anticipation for the day I will see her again. She has two sisters that love her too and cant wait to meet her. I have often thought about how I will answer the burning question in her mind and I know the answer. It was then and has always been because I loved her. Not because I didn’t want her, but because I loved her enough to know I couldn’t be what she needed, so I sought the help of someone who could. I miss her terribly, but I have never regretted my decision or the place I chose to facilitate the adoption. Just here waiting for the reunion, patiently, because I know her parents will tell her when the time is right for her.

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