A Father’s Rights and Responsibilities
You may ask yourself, “What am I going to do now that my girlfriend is pregnant?” This section describes a father’s rights and his responsibilities.
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Biological Father- This is the man who impregnated the birthmother. Because he fathered the child, he has the right to parent or help parent the child.
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Legal Father - Also called the putative or presumed father, this man was legally married to the pregnant woman at the time of conception. It is sometimes the case that the biological father and the legal father are two different people, and depending on your state of residence it may take consultation with an attorney or other licensed counsel to sort out where rights and responsibilities stand in terms of adoption, abortion, and parenting.
My Girlfriend is Pregnant – Am I Ready to be a Father?
If the answer to that question is no, and the mother agrees, then it might be time to consider the adoption process. There are several steps involved and they include:
- Locate a reputable adoption agency or adoption attorney.
- Meet with a counselor to discuss your feelings about parenthood and adoption.
- Discuss and decide on your expectations of the adoptive family with the mother of the baby.
- Determine how open you want your relationship with the adoptive family (and the child) to be. You should discuss visitation, updates, and other forms of communication with both the agency and the adoptive family.
- Remember that all of these choices are in the best interests of the child; try to keep personal preferences and emotion from altering an appropriate decision.
- The legal portion of this process cannot take place until after the child is born, so it is important to familiarize yourself with the paperwork before hand. Contained in the multitude of documents will be a Consent Form or Entrustment. It is standard for all Consent and Entrustment Forms to have a Revocation Clause that would allow you time to change your mind and reassert yourself as the legal parent.
- If it is your opinion that you are NOT the father of the child in question, you may be more comfortable signing a Denial of Paternity or requesting a paternity test.
Is the Baby Mine?
If you wish to have a paternity test to verify if you are the biological father of the child, then it is fully within your rights to do so. Genetic (DNA) testing has an accuracy rate of approximately 99.9%. A paternity test such as Identigene is available for purchase in most major drug stores or pharmacies. The test involves swabbing both your mouth and the mouth of the child with included cotton swabs for saliva samples. The results arrive 2-4 weeks after being sent to the lab whose address is in the directions.
Choosing the Parent Path for Biological Fathers
If you choose to execute your rights as a father to parent your child, it is important for you to consider the financial demands, new social roles, and new responsibilities that can complicate your life. You will need to learn more about the changes you will face, how to obtain assistance, and how you can improve your fathering skills. Some sites that offer practical suggestions include:
If you need assistance or counseling regarding your decision, contact Adoptions Together to speak with a professional who can help you sort out what you’re experiencing and discuss fathers’ rights with you.