Are You Considering Adoption?
Developing an Adoption Plan
The decision to place a child for adoption is never an easy one. You will likely struggle with a wide range of emotions that leave you feeling upset, angry, and even ashamed of the position you’re in. Having to make that decision is a scary experience.
We understand what you’re experiencing, from the thoughts to the emotions. While you may be in a position where you’ve lost the support of family and/or friends, you still have a support network available to help you make the best decision for yourself and your child.
Each birth mother (and birth father) may feel it is necessary to look into adoption for varying reasons:
• You may feel you are not financially capable of supporting a child
• One or the other (or both) may feel not emotionally mature enough for the responsibility
• You may have little to no support from family
• You may have children already and feel another child could limit your ability to parent properly
• You may have other goals or priorities that could become far more challenging with a child
…And certainly others as well.
Each of these can create even greater stress for a single parent. The important thing, however, is that you are asking those questions. That concern shows that you care a great deal not only for your own health and wellness, but for that of your child as well.
Ultimately, you are the only person who will know for certain if you are prepared to become a parent. If you want more information, the counselors at Adoptions Together can help you develop a plan. You can make an educated decision that is the best fit for you and your child.
Want To Learn More? Watch Our Brief Video on the Adoption Process
What Options Do Birth Mothers Have For Adoption?
A birth mother looking into adoption on her own may become overwhelmed by the number of options, making it that much more difficult to know where to begin. Here are the most common options:
Adoption Agency
An adoption agency will help a birth mother find a family for her child. This is typically done through public agencies or by a private agency that has been licensed or regulated by the state in which they work.
Children placed through private agencies are typically brought to the agency by parents (or expectant parents) who want to learn more about relinquishing their child for adoption.
Independent Adoptions (also known as Private Adoptions)
With private or independent adoption, there is no adoption agency involved in the adoption process. These are often a result of a direct arrangement between birth parents and adoptive parents through an intermediary like an attorney, but more frequently through the internet. Regardless of how the match is arranged, most adoptive parents typically hire an attorney to handle court paperwork.
Independent adoption is carefully regulated in those states that permit it, however, some states do not allow independent adoption.
birth mothers should keep in mind: with independent adoption there is no real counseling or home study for the parties involved before the adoption actually takes place. This can make it hard to find resources and support services when difficult scenarios arise. This method also leaves a great deal to chance as there are no preparatory support services such as those offered through agency adoption. In addition, the matched family may not have been investigated or cleared by the state to adopt.
Identified Adoptions
An identified (designated) adoption takes place when the birth mother and adoptive parents locate one another outside of an agency. The remainder of the process is then turned over to an adoption agency.
Both gain the benefit of counseling services and home study provided by the agency and receive help with the legal side of the adoption process.
Open Adoption
An open adoption is an arrangement in which the adoptive parents and the birth mother begin contact before birth. The adoptive parents agree that they will maintain a minimum level of contact with the birth mother or birth parents after the adoption. Communication can be made through letters, photos, or in-person visits with the adoptive parents and the child over the years. In some states, like Maryland, the parties sign a contract which is legally binding.
Discover the Stories of Other Birth Parents in our Birth Parent Blog
Choosing an Agency over Private Adoption
As a birth mother that wants to place her child for adoption, you have a number of options, and you may consider a private adoption if you have someone in mind that you feel would be an excellent parent.
While it may seem beneficial to know who the adoptive parents are and be able to retain close contact if you are able to do so, the downside to private adoption is that adoptive parents are not required to complete their home study and counseling before the adoption takes place.
When placing your child for adoption through Adoptions Together, the adoptive parents in waiting have
completed their home study. They have undergone criminal history and background checks, and child abuse clearances have been performed.
Each adoptive family has been educated on the complexity of adoption and is fully prepared for your child to join their family.
Unlike private adoption where you receive no post-adoptive support, our services don’t stop when you surrender your parental rights.
We stay with birth mothers to provide all the counseling and support needed in the years to come. With private adoption, there is also no guarantee that you will obtain an open adoption in which you can maintain contact with your child. Adoptions Together ensures that adoptive parents continue to send letters and photos as your child grows –
and we work hard to make sure you receive them.
The Benefit of Local Adoptive Parents
While it may seem ideal to look across the U.S. for adoptive parents, as that can give you a larger pool to select from, it is much more beneficial to search locally. Adoptions Together works within the Virginia, Maryland and DC areas to find adoptive parents.
A birth mother can rest assured that all families in waiting have passed the local home study courses that are required, as well as appropriate screening.
Searching locally also allows the birth mother to meet and personally know the adoptive parents. Should meetings be agreed on in an open adoption, a local family makes it easier for these visits to take place.
The Adoption Process and Interim Care
It can take time for some birth mothers to settle on the right family. While we work with you in the final stages of your pregnancy, several options are available to you after you have had your baby to help finalize the adoption and provide interim care.
If you are ready to do so, the baby can go home from the hospital with the adoptive family you have selected.
If you are still not quite ready for your baby to be placed with a new family, then your child can go home with one of our interim care families. These families will stay in touch with you to let you know how your baby is doing, and you will be able to visit your baby while we help you choose the right adoptive family.
You should never feel like you are alone in the decisions you have to make. We have a vast array of support and resources to help you decide what’s best for you and your baby.
Contact Us Today at 800-439-0233 to Speak with a Birth Parent Counselor